What Is It?
Speed dating has been around for about fifteen years. It's a dating system whose purpose is to
allow singles to meet as many other singles one-on-one as possible in a short
specified amount of time. Its origins
have been credited to a Rabbi who devised it as a way to help Jewish singles
meet prospective mates. It has since
shown up as a plot device in several movies and television shows.
The first speed dating event took place at Pete's Café in
Beverly Hills in late 1998. By the year
2000, speed dating had become very popular.
Supporters of the phenomenon claim it saves time since most people
quickly decide if they are romantically compatible and first impressions are
often permanent.
How It Works
Organizers of these events usually require advance
registration with the total number of participants limited to a specific
number. Small events have twenty to
thirty participants while others are very large such as the recent one in New
Jersey with three hundred and fifty participants. Needless to say, there is usually a
registration fee which covers the cost of putting on the event and a profit for
the organizers.
Each participant is assigned an identification of some sort,
usually a number. They are not allowed
to exchange personal information such as names, phone numbers, email addresses,
etc., during the dating process of
the event.
Men and women rotate so that they each have the opportunity
to meet the other in a series of short dates
that each last a set amount of time, usually somewhere between three and eight
minutes depending on the rules set down by the organizer. This could be something as simple as small
tables with the women sitting on one side and the men on the other side
opposite. At the end of each time
period, a signal is given and the participants move on to the next date which
might be achieved by the men getting up and moving to the next table to begin
his date with a different woman. This
continues until each man has had a date with each woman.
At the end of the event, each of the participants submit a
list to the organizers showing which of their dates they are interested in
seeing again. The organizers then compare
all the lists and when a match occurs, they forward the personal information to
that specific man and woman and they are on their own at that point.
Events can have a theme or specific requirements of the
participants. Older men and younger
women or older women and younger men with age ranges pre-determined. Gays.
Lesbians. Ethnic groups. Religious affiliation. Maybe groups that share an interest in a
certain hobby such as SCUBA diving.
Proponents of speed dating claim it's time efficient and the
structure of the event eliminates the need of trying to figure out how to
introduce yourself or needing to create a situation where you can start a
conversation with someone. The
circumstances allow participants to come alone without feeling awkward or out
of place.
A 2005 study at the University of Pennsylvania found that
most people make their decision to accept or reject a potential partner within
the first three seconds of meeting and issues such as religion, previous
marriages, and smoking habits weren't as important as expected.
A 2006 study in Edinburgh, Scotland, found that conversation
about travel resulted in more matches than conversation about films.
Various studies of speed dating events came to the general
conclusion that women were more selective than men. The above mentioned University of
Pennsylvania study reported that the average man was chosen by 34% of the women
and the average woman was chosen by 49% of the men.
Several television shows have used speed dating as an
episode plot point—usually a prelude to murder. The murder victim had just
participated in a speed dating event which provides a bunch of suspects with
whom the victim had no previous connection thus making solving the crime more
difficult…especially when the speed dating ended up having nothing to do with
the crime. :)
Now, with all this said about speed dating being a
relatively recent phenomenon…
Many years ago (many, many, many years ago) when I was a
freshman in college and pledging a sorority, the same process now referred to
as speed dating was the method used by one of the sororities during rush week for
the members to meet and interview the prospective pledges. Each member had five minutes with each
potential pledge then the member moved on to the next candidate for membership.
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