1) Greene, New York: It's against the law to eat peanuts and walk
backwards down the street while a concert is playing.
Apparently it's okay when a concert is NOT playing. How
about this? Is it okay to walk backwards down the street while a concert is
playing if you're eating cashews rather than peanuts? With peanuts, perhaps
people were dropping the shells on the sidewalk and making a mess, but what
does that have to do with walking backwards during a concert? And are we
talking only outdoor concerts or does that apply to walking in front of a
concert hall where a performance is in progress? There had to be some reason
for the lawmakers to actually spend time on this and vote to make it a law. I
wonder what the reason could have been?
2) Massachusetts: At a wake, mourners may eat no more than
three sandwiches.
This totally baffles me. Why would there be a law governing
how much people are allowed to eat at a wake? And for that matter, why does it
apparently apply only to sandwiches and not other food?
3) Beech Grove, Indiana: It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the
park.
So, for everyone enjoying a summer picnic in the park,
you're breaking the law if watermelon is part of your meal? Did rival picnic
groups end up in a watermelon fight thus causing the ban? Did Gallagher show up
with his watermelon smashing sledge hammer? Honeydew melon and cantaloupe are
okay but not watermelon? Again, one can only wonder what happened to result in
such a weird law.
4) Riverside, California: One may not carry a lunch down the street
between 11 and 1 o'clock.
First, I'm assuming this means 11AM and 1PM as in the normal
period thought of as lunch time. But the purpose of the law? Was there a time
in Riverside's history when gangs of hungry people prowled the streets during
those hours looking to steal a lunch from some unsuspecting pedestrian? Gangs
that did not pose a threat at 10:45AM or at 1:15PM? Gangs that were only
concerned with lunch and not dinner?
5) Maryland:
It's against the law to eat while swimming in the ocean.
Another assumption—this relates only to people and not to
anything that actually lives in the ocean, which makes it a gray area for
Aquaman? Apparently it's okay to eat while swimming in a lake, pond, river, or
swimming pool. Again another assumption—you have discovered some type of food
that can stand up to all that water? And you don't mind ingesting whatever
bacteria/germs are in that water as part of your snack? I can intellectually
understand the concept of food in the ocean attracting some sort of unwanted
predator, but wouldn't the person be a similar type of temptation?
6) Marion, Ohio:
It's a violation to eat a donut while walking backwards.
Again the prohibition on eating something specific while
walking backwards. What is it with the walking backwards stuff? So, people
living in Greene, New York, who want to eat their peanuts while walking
backwards need to travel to Marion, Ohio, and people in Marion, Ohio, who want
to eat their donuts while walking backwards can do it in Greene, New York?
7) Carmel, New York: It's illegal to eat ice cream while standing
on the sidewalk.
Hmmm…is it okay to eat the ice cream while walking backwards
as long as you aren't standing still?
8) Rosemead, California: Eating ice cream in public with a fork is
prohibited.
My first thought is…who eats ice cream with a fork. But, moving beyond that. Apparently it's okay
to eat ice cream while walking backwards as long as you aren't using a fork.
9) California:
It is illegal to eat an orange in your bathtub.
Now they've gone too far! Bad enough to mess with what
you're allowed to eat in public, but in the privacy of your own bathroom? How
is it possible to even enforce this law? Knowing that eating the orange while
in your bathtub is illegal, close the bathroom door and cover the window so no
one can see that you're actually in the tub while eating your orange.
10) Boston, Massachusetts: It is illegal to eat peanuts in church.
Does this apply to anything happening in a church building
such as a social gathering of some sort or only to a church service? It would
seem to me that it would be inappropriate to be eating anything during a church
service. Again the peanuts are being taken to task. I guess that means it's
legal to eat them while walking backwards down the street while a concert is
playing since it's Boston rather than Greene, New York.
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